Proverbs 31 thoughts on Guy Land, Good, and Evil

As I was making my coffee this morning, the Holy Spirit brought to remembrance a verse in Proverbs 31 which describes one aspect of a virtuous woman. As I opened my Bible to refresh my memory, something that caught my eye again was the fact the words written describing this kind of woman were not some guy's ideal dream girl. They were words given to King Lemuel from his MOMMA about what to look for in a woman.

No offense to men or anything, but they can sometimes be clueless about women. Perhaps that's why Paul advised the young pastor Timothy that older women needed to teach the younger women? We know how we think. After almost twenty-two years of marriage, I am STILL learning new things about "guy land", much to my husband's delight and disbelief. He finds it funny how mortified I have been when finding out, for instance, that the guys actually talk to each other while standing next to each other in a public restroom... there are no privacy barriers at the giant urinals. Ick! He also finds it hysterically funny that I am puzzled by the daily routine of our younger two sons, ages 12 and 7, who at precisely 11:00AM and 6:30PM start chasing each other with plastic weapons, wrestle each other, and laugh until they are red-faced (or angry). I am fairly certain that if they didn't do this daily, they would spontaneously combust. Guy land. Man-laws. I find it all still to be a bit of a mystery to me, but I love watching it in action.

Back to Proverbs 31 - advice from a mother about what is important in a wife.

She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 ESV

What are the ways in which we can do good to our husbands? What I find in most Christian circles is that women equate good housekeeping with being good wives. No doubt this does bless our men. But are there other ways in which we can do good to our husbands? Of course there are, IF we have the energy to do so after doing everything else.

Proverbs 31 goes on to mention all the things the ideal woman should be, not the least of which is to not be idle. Verses 13-24 outline a very industrious woman. But I think we tend to focus on the works aspect so much so at times that the heart aspect can be diminished. If your husband and children are to rise up and call you blessed, then there must be more to it than keeping a clean house and having a tight routine. Your husband and children need you to also do them good, and not evil. It's hard to do good when one is stressed, as Jesus Himelf noted when being served by Martha. Martha was great at hostessing, but according to Jesus she was also anxious and troubled about many things
Luke 10:41. Her sister Mary, about whom Martha was tattling to Jesus, had chosen what Jesus called "the good portion".


I've found over the years that the best way to find out how I'm doing in certain marital endeavors is to simply ask my honey how I'm doing. He knows me well enough to not answer those trick questions, like, "Do I look fat in this?" (For what it's worth, his trademark answer is either "You always look beautiful to me." or "Well, I like the red outfit better." Smooth, huh? lol) I have sometimes been quite shocked by what has blessed my husband, like for instance, coming grocery shopping with me, or hearing me laugh at our teen son's antics. Yes, my hubby likes a clean home, and likes to have good food and clean clothes, but he LOVES having a joyful wife who is glad to see him when he comes home, who kisses him goodbye every morning, and who laughs at his jokes. I have found that my being a joyful wife is of critical importance to my husband, and when you really think about it, what kind of person do you like to be with? Become that person for your family's sake. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you joy unspeakable, and clear vision for what is "the good portion" in your life and home. Smile at your husband... and see what happens.

Ask your husband today ways in which you can do him good. Ask him what things you can do or be like that speak to his heart that you love him. Assure him that he won't get into trouble by answering honestly. You might be surprised at his answers!