One of the things the Bible tells seasoned wives (as is yours truly) to do is to encourage younger women to love their husbands. This seemed strange to me. Here's something found in Titus chapter 2:
3Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Isn't it interesting that the Bible never speaks of us training our husbands? We're to train our children, but not our husbands. I have seen a tendency in many women to think they must train their husbands out of certain behaviors. I'm not sure how any woman could do this without demeaning her husband by treating him as a child or an ignoramus. But I digress.
Why would an older woman need to teach younger women to love their own husbands? After over twenty years of marriage, I think I know why we might need to be reminded.
In the midst of the busyness of child-raising, it is very easy to forget that our husbands are, well, our husbands. We can be so focused on what we feel we need to be doing in terms of running the household, caring for the kiddos, and juggling many other things that one of the last things on our mental lists is to stop to be affectionate toward our hubbies.
Affectionate? Aren't we talking here of loving our husbands? Yes! Let's look at that particular word, "love", in verse 4. Young women are to philandros their husbands, which in the Greek is properly translated to be fond of man, i.e. affectionate as a wife:--love their husbands.
Are you affectionate toward your husband? I'm not talking about sex here, but rather affection. Showing affection is such a wonderful thing to do. It's free, it's easy, you don't have to dress-up or lose weight, and it honors God and your husband. There are many ways to do this, even for the busiest wife and mother.
Greet your husband with a kiss when he comes home from work (or when you get home from work). Hug him, while you're at it. Be intentional. Speak to him with a gentle tone and a pleasant facial expression. Kiss him on the cheek when he least expects it. Whisper in his ear that you have a huge crush on him. You're not too busy to do these simple and uplifting things.
You might be thinking, "Well, if I do these things, my husband will think I'm crazy, 'cuz I've never done this before." Oh yes you have. Remember when you were dating? Remember why you married the guy in the first place? Uhuh. The fact that you may not have been demonstrating affection to him over the past busy years doesn't mean you can't start today. I don't see this as a general guideline or recommendation if you feel like doing it, but rather something that is of critical importance to your marriage, AND for your kids to see (even though they will say it's gross...hehehe).
You might be thinking but unwilling to admit it, "Well, if I show any sign of affection at all, he will think it means you-know-what." Hmmmmm. So your husband wants to be with you. That is a GOOD thing. Show him affection outside of the bedroom. If something is bothering you with your intimacy with your husband, then talk to him about it. Don't be afraid to show affection. It's good for you and for him.
It's my strong belief that there is nothing in the Bible that was penned haphazardly. Go on... show that man of yours some affection! Ask the Holy Spirit to show you ways to walk in this level of love for your husband.
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