"Uber-blogger" Tim Challies has taken a swat at a huge hornet's nest with his latest blog entries entitled Why I Do Not Homeschool Parts 1 and 2. Although I don't know Tim personally, and actually only know that he is a prolific reformed blogger, it seems to me from the tone of his articles that his kids are quite young. So is he. Of course, anyone under 40, to me, is young. ***LOL***
As I read through the articles and multiple comments, I have been reflecting back on our, let's see now, twelve years of homeschooling. Earlier this week I ran into an old friend at WalMart (yes I do shop there... shhhhhhh). We did the whole small talk thing, then she looked at me and said, "I don't know how you do it. How do you homeschool five kids?" She went on to say that over the past year she had homeschooled her middle and elementary aged-kids out of financial necessity. The kids had been attending a private Christian school prior to this time. This woman has a teaching degree and is wonderful with kids. She's articulate, humorous, and gentle-hearted. Yet, for her, homeschooling was a horrible experience.
As we chatted, I tried to explain to her how having three kids, to me, was just as busy as having five. There was just something about that "magic" number that made me a crazy woman. Adding in babies 4 and 5 really seemed like no big deal. I reassured her that three is a crazy, chaotic, wonderful number of children to have. The fact that I happen to have more children than she does doesn't make me a better or more efficient mom. All it means is that I do more laundry.
I then went on to tell her that if I were trying to replicate traditional school at home, I wouldn't have continued with homeschooling. She gave me a funny look, sighed, and said that she had done just that. She bought large pre-packaged curricula for each child, and nearly went crazy trying to do everything every day. No wonder it was a horrible year for her! The financial situation of the family has gotten much better, and her kids are back in Christian school, where she also teaches Kindergarten three days a week.
She felt like a failure at homeschooling because she tried to take a school curriculum, designed for use in private schools, and apply ALL of it to her homeschooling. It had nothing to do with her ability to teach her kids. She was just using the wrong tool.
That brings me to the assumption part of life. People look at me and assume I am certain things. When they see five kids, they often times make comments in joke-form about my love-life (and if they had more than a couple kids themselves they'd know it's not what they think!). When they find out I am married to a pastor, they make certain assumptions about my nature being that of a doormat, to which my husband laughs hysterically. When they find out that my favorite movies are sci-fi, not chick flicks, then another assumption dies.
I think we all make assumptions about others based on certain caricatures of life. This is especially prevalent in mom land. We tend to look at each other, then look at ourselves to see just how much we don't measure up. I guess the only way around making assumptions about other moms would be to actually talk to them on more than a surface level, which can leave us vulnerable but which can also be very enlightening. Those moms who look to have it all together are probably looking at you and wondering how you do it. In my experience, women tend to be driven by their own expectations of themselves as they compare themselves to each other. I don't see anywhere in Scripture where we're advised to measure ourselves against each other. I do see how we are to look to Jesus and depend on Him. To me, this can all be rather simple. I have taught my kids for years to "Listen and obey!" This has also greatly simplified my own life, as I strive to listen and obey my heavenly Father, even with decisions such as homeschooling. Ideology without conviction of the Lord is weak when the winds of real life blow against it. That's why I might seem to some to be so calm about who I am and what I do. I walk in what I believe to be God's will for my life, and it fills me with great joy. Add to that a bizarre sense of humor, and you can see how some might think I am a bit goofy, and that's fine by me.
Speaking of goofy, one of my daughters has an infectious giggle, and has been joy-filled since early infancy. She literally lives out the phrase "the joy of the Lord is my strength". She is now ten years old, and was recently walking around the house making some kind of silly noise, and causing her older brother to laugh. As she left the room, I looked at my son and said, "Your sister is living out the scripture that says "He who is of a merry heart has a continual feast." As we laughed about it, I was reminded in my spirit of how much the joy of the Lord really ministers to us and those around us. It's my belief that if we're walking in the Spirit, listening and obeying, we are more free in heart to be joyful despite difficult circumstances.
Even if we homeschool (or don't), and even if our laundry room looks like a FEMA-designated disaster zone.
Is the joy of the Lord your strength?
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