Are You Easily Provoked?

A few years ago I was asked to speak at a small women's retreat. I came to the retreat a bit early to take part in some casual activities - if I remember correctly it was scrap-booking or some other crafty thing. You can really learn a lot during those activities because people tend to just chat away about pretty much anything.

During our craft chat time, one wife commented to her friend, "I FINALLY got my husband trained to not put a dirty fork in the sink, but to put it directly in the dishwasher. Sheesh - what does he think I am? His maid?"

This woman had no idea what my topic was for the day's teaching time. My topic? Taking things personally that are not meant to be personal. Consider these verses from the Bible:

Proverbs 17:9
Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

1 Peter 4:8
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Colossians 3:12-14
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Why is it that when we read these verses, our minds tend to only think of application of the concepts to neighbors, strangers, or unbelievers? What an amazing world we'd have if we applied Colossians 3 to our marriages and family lives.

Are you easily offended? We all know about some Christian fringe groups who take offense at everything from Disney to sugar. We've probably also heard about tiffs in churches between congregants over the color of the carpeting or whether to have pews or chairs, hymns or choruses, etc. I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about how we react in our own marriages to things that irritate us.

When you see dirty socks on the floor, what is your first thought? That your husband doesn't respect you enough to get them in the hamper? Or that there's a practical opportunity to serve the man you love? (Whom, by the way, you chose, and for whom, more than likely, you begged God?)

The concept of serving others seems to be relegated in our minds only to the realm of church or neighborhood/community. Yet we should be serving each other also in our homes, with gentleness and patience.

There's something I learned from a Beth Moore study a few years ago that revolutionized my thinking. She wrote in "Praying God's Word" about controlling our thought lives, and said something like, "Just because a thought pops into your head doesn't mean it has to stay there." I know it might seem very basic to many of you, but for me it was an epiphany of sorts, with immense amounts of practical application. I have said her phrase to myself many times when I've been easily provoked by little things... when picking up wet towels, or finding a fork in a bathroom (ick!), or tripping over someone's shoes. I can choose how to respond and how to think about the situation. I could think martyr-style, "No one cares how much I DO around here!" or I could pause, and thank God that I have those in my home and family whom I can serve, thereby showing them love in a practical way.

I'm not talking here about not training your kids to put things away - that's a different post. I'm talking here about one of the toughest questions any Christian wife can ask herself - Are you easily provoked? If so, then you have a sin issue in your heart. Anger doesn't accomplish the righteousness of God:

James 1:19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

May the Holy Spirit give you the strength and wisdom to truly walk in your home as someone with a joyful heart and who has self control in her thought life. Cover offenses with love, which does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful (1 Corinthians 13:5). You will be amazed at how much more peaceful life can be once you stop being easily provoked.