Catch 'Em Doing What's Right

I just have to go ahead and say this...er, type this, out loud. Being a mom is really hard work! Over the years the Lord has convicted me of many things which were brought to light simply by virtue of giving birth to someone.

One of my most shameful confessions is that occasionally I would fall into the habit of only talking to some of my kids was when I was correcting them. Perhaps it's easy to make the excuse of, "Well, I do have five kids, and they are always on the go!" but that wouldn't be honest. The simple fact of the matter was that this was a self control issue for ME. I thought about what it would be like for me to only be spoken to when being told what to do or when being corrected. What if that was how my dear husband spoke to me? Or my friends? Neighbors?

When I realized my mistake - or should I call it sin? - I asked the Lord to help me to speak words that would encourage the hearers (my kiddos). This is not a one-time deal. I have to pray this regularly. Sometimes it is a real chore for me to "be the grown up" and speak with gentleness and encouragement, and sometimes I have to really dig to find something positive I can say, especially in those pre-adolescent years. I figured if Christ instructed us to love and pray for and speak well of our enemies, how much more-so our own children, whom we most likely prayed and asked God for in the first place? But this can be a very difficult area of self control for most parents, especially moms who are home with the kids all day. It can be done - God gives us the strength and patience to even do this child-raising season to His glory.

Check yourself today. Be mindful of what you say to your children. How's your tone of voice? How's your facial expression? Have you asked your children anything about how they are doing today, or have you mostly spoken to them only to remind them to do their chores or to quit bickering?

I truly believe that if we follow the Proverbs 31 model, and have on our tongues the law of kindness, we will set a pleasant tone for our home while at the same time greatly encouraging our children in heart and soul. Ladies, this is Holy Spirit enabled self control lived-out, in the flesh.

For what do you want your children to remember you? That you kept a tight schedule and a clean house? Or that you cared for their souls? Yes, remind them to do those chores. But also remind them of how happy you are to be their mom, or how proud you are of them for the kindness they show, or the way they behave. Let them know how much you prayed for them before they were even born. Smile at them (when's the last time you smiled at your child?) and see what happens. This is how we bless our children!