Simplifying Homeschooling

I've been homeschooling for, let's see... thirteen years now, and the best advice I ever got was from Inge Cannon herself, at my very first homeschooling conference. When I told her of my intention to teach my 5 year old eldest child, she said, "Whatever you do, DON'T sit the boy down for two or more hours a day and make him follow a curriculum."

A few years later, while pregnant with my fifth child, my husband and I went to hear Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore speak. The conference was about an hour away - very uncomfortable with an 8 month pregnant woman, but I digress. If you are unfamiliar with the Moores, they advocate starting formal education for children later, rather than earlier. For more information, you may check this website.

I have been advocating simple homeschool from the start. It always just made sense to me that if my children could read well, write, and think mathematically / logically, they could in turn learn about anything they needed or wanted to learn about not only in "school" but in life. My goal was and is to foster a love of learning.

Today I found a fantastic list from Colette Longo entitled, "Ten Ways to Simplify Homeschooling" While I have never used the Robinson Curriculum, I wholeheartedly agree with Ms. Longo's ideals. Hop on over to the article and read it.

If you're homeschooling children, or plan to do so, then let Ms. Longo's words dwell in your mind as you try to figure out how your homeschooling adventure will unfold. Her wise words apply not only to toddlers, but to students of all ages.

Homeschoolers Look to CA While The Nation Looks At Homeschoolers

On February 28 there was a ruling by the 2nd District Court of Appeal in California which, in part, stated that parents must have a teaching credential to home school their children. This was a juvenile case with parents who apparently had a long history of accusations against them by child protective services, so the court ruled that the children needed to be in brick and mortar schools, more or less to ensure that others would be checking on their well being. Because of the anti-homeschooling wording of the decision, homeschooling is in the spotlight of many in the media, and homeschooling families around the nation are wondering what this may mean for us if other states adopt this position.

While California's Governor as well as the Superintendent of Public Instruction try to calm the nerves of parents teaching the roughly 160,000 homeschooled students there, it's been interesting, yet not surprising, to see the reactions of those not in favor of homeschooling.

Albert Mohler discussed that issue today in his blog. The article is entitled "Overt Hostility Toward Homeschoolers".

Normally I don't worry at all about what others think about home education, but Dr. Mohler does bring some troubling quotes to light.

The Home School Legal Defense Association has published a commentary on the case here.

There is apparently an Assembly Concurrent Resolution (ACR 115) which denounces the Appellate Court Decision, authored by State Assembly Member Joel Anderson.

What will this court ruling mean for homeschoolers? Only time will tell.

Impressive Blog Entry: "Less is More"

Angela over at Lux Et Veritas blog has an excellent entry regarding how much we push our kids in terms of academics and activities. Her words are wise, and I find her balance to be inspirational.

Here's some of what she wrote:

One of the trends that I most enjoy studying is the educational changes that people make. I watch the trends of public schools, national education, homeschooling methods and general parenting trends. One thing that has really picked up speed in the last 5-10 years, is the pace at which people are trying to educate their children. We are no longer spoon feeding information, it is like a full feast, being shoved down a throat at the earliest possible movement of the child. (Sorry a little harsh) I am a huge believer in helping children find JOY!


Brian (Tokyo) and I (Osaka) , both spent a couple of years living in Japan, (We didn’t know each other at the time) on service missions, I watched some very disturbing trends that followed a very strict regimented lifestyle. Children as young as 2, were being pre-qualified to attend elite preschools to help facilitate their educational status. Many children attended after-school tutors late into the evening, attending high school and an elite one at that, was the most important decision that they would make. High school classes and curriculum, required more study than college. Many students studied 7 days a week. College was considered a vacation or a break for the student.


Sadly, suicide rates were high for children in this country. The loss of childhood was replaced with books and schedules. As a young adult, I vowed never to enter into that arena with my future children. Now in America two decades later, I see many of these trends. Parent pushing aggressive preschool curriculums, baby Einstein dvd’s being shown right out of the womb (which have never produced any positive tests for increased intelligence), parents scrambling to find the best method to educate their children. (Always a consideration in the homeschool arena). Public school parents fighting for new facilities programs (although I believe kids learn better in a great environment) and dozens of enrichment activities filling free-time (what's left of it). Homeschooling doesn’t even guarantee that you avoid this.


The homeschooling community is equally, if not more passionate about what their children study. Trends in methods monopolize community discussion. In either forum-public or private, searching for the best curriculum, program or ideal plagues parents. I too, have joined in the discussion. (On the flip side, I agree one hundred percent that you have to be informed and up to date on how and what curriculum you choose and the methods you elect to teach.)

What I find very interesting is that one of the ways in which Angela recommends we start being a "less is more" family is to not get the kids involved in travel sports (and her husband played NCAA football on a full scholarship, and coached high school sports for years!)

She has some great ideas, and a wonderful way of putting them into print. Check out the entire blog entry here.

Over the years my husband and I have seen many families following the burn-out route in the hopes that their kids would gain an educational edge. Many times the families were hoping, too, that the busyness would keep the kids out of trouble. Overall, we've not seen this to be the case, neither with friends nor when my husband was a youth pastor.

We humans are interesting beings, aren't we? We have our to-do lists, our life maps, our day timers, goals, expectations, but life is rarely how we planned it out to be.

No wise answers or witty sayings from me. I'm learning as I wander along life's paths, too. There are so many variables in each family, marriage, situation that I think Angela really is onto something when she talks about general values of time and joy. It seems to me that peer pressure extends late into our adult years. Was it Mrs. Reagan who quipped "Just say no."? Amazing wisdom there!

Stress Reduction Committee?

The New York Times featured an article today entitled, "A Principal Who Cracks Down on Stress".

From the article:

NEEDHAM, Mass. — It was 6:30 p.m. The lights were still on at Needham High School, here in the affluent Boston suburbs. Paul Richards, the principal, was meeting with the Stress Reduction Committee.
On the agenda: finding the right time to bring in experts to train students in relaxation techniques.

Don’t try to have them teach relaxation in study hall, said Olivia Boyd, a senior. Students, she explained, won’t want to interrupt their work. They were already too busy before or after school for the training.

Apparently, the school wants to incorporate yoga, relaxation consultants, and student surveys to see how they can help the kids learn how to handle stress.

Hmmm.

A little deeper look, and you'll find that four of Needham's young people — one in college, two in high school and one in middle school — committed suicide. School officials emphasized that the suicides were not related to stress, but the deaths heightened concerns about how Needham’s students were responding to school pressure.

We've heard for years that we're pushing our kids too hard. We talk to each other and ask, "What ever happened to childhood?" as we drive our kids to their many lessons, sports, and other activities we think will give them an edge in life. After all, we want them to do better than we have done in life, don't we? The problem is that our kids are stressing out, understandably.

Universal preschool, all day kindergarten, Head Start are just some ways in which we feel we can help our kids "get ahead" in life. In homeschooling circles the parent peer pressure is just as vicious. Latin roots at age three. Parsing verbs no later than 2nd grade. "Use this curriculum for critical thinking skills or your child will be a failure!"

I blogged a little bit about this a while back, for what it's worth. Parenting With The Education Fear Factor

Honestly, I don't see a solution to this problem that we've put upon our own children. It takes a LOT of self control to relax and realize we cannot control what will happen to our children with regard to how their lives will go. Sure, we can send them to the best schools, have them learn all they need to learn to succeed in business, but ultimately what we seem to end up doing is pushing our kids too hard and too soon to pursue OUR dreams for them. No wonder they're stressed.

Why are your kids doing what they're doing, and what can you do to help them gain proper perspective?

Homeschooling - Routines, Schedules, Spreadsheets, Oh My!

I'll admit it. I have never been one for scheduling. I felt like a great big rebel when I refused to schedule-feed my firstborn son waaaay back in 1990. I think that was the beginning of my "fighting the power" as my teen daughter would say.

Some people, including a couple of my very best friends, find a great deal of comfort and control in keeping their planners within reach at all times. My closest, dearest "ami" also has the neatest, most orderly sock drawer in all of Minnesota.

I have never been that type of person.

Now, some of you might be saying, how do you do it with five kids? By "it" they mean homeschooling, basic housekeeping, cooking, laundry, keeping the hubby happy, and soforth. Well, I found out early on, when my husband was a youth pastor, that our daily life would never resemble that of any other family. I'm not sure I am proud of it, but at least now I'm not ashamed of it.

We have five kids, ages (almost) 17, 14, 12, 10 and 7. We've homeschooled them from the very beginning, and plan on doing so, Lord willing, through high school.

I learned that if a woman has a baby every even-numbered year for a ten year span, that what start out as great intentions tend to get modified by real life.

I read the homeschooling magazines' "A Day In Our Home" articles and wondered what was wrong with me. I sat in on a MOTH Managers Of Their Homes lecture when the author hadn't yet officially created her manual. I knew all the things I was supposed to do, but somehow things never went according to a strict plan.

I did learn to modify chore and school lists to fit our needs. I write out the kids' assignments and chores for the week out on a regular sheet of printer paper, tipped to landscape style. Each day they can see what they need to do, in terms of chores and school, as well as what special events may be happening. All of the kids check off what they do throughout the day. I don't care when anything is done, but the kids know there will be no TV or computer or game system turns until everything on their lists is done. Naturally, my junior in high school takes much more time to get his school done than my first grader. But because my high schoolers have always had a flexible routine, they know they simply need to get done what's on the list if they want to get to more fun things. This works well for us, and doesn't produce a false sense of urgency over the clock.

Someone over on Amy's blog asked about our routine, so, for what it's worth, here it is:

9AM I get up, brew a cuppa coffee, and check email, blogs, news, etc.
10AM most kids are up.
Kids are allowed to play, create, and have 1 turn on the computer or PS 2. I have Dollar Store digital timers, and each kiddo gets 20 minutes. The other kids are the enforcers. This works well! The kids are also responsible for preparing and cleaning up after their own breakfasts. No TV.

My younger ones (ages 7 & 10) do need reminding to make their beds and get dressed.

1PM lunch for whomever is hungry. Again, the kids make their own lunches. I always have a lot of kid-friendly, mom-friendly food, so the kids make their own sandwiches or other lunchie things. They are to clean up after themselves and get ready to do schoolwork.

Right after lunch, if any of the kids hadn't already begun school work, they do so now. There is no TV or gaming of any kind until after all kids are done with all chores and all school. Nothing emotional about this - it's just my rule.

6PM dinner with Daddy. I do all the meal prep. and the kids do all the clean-up. We don't rotate chores, so everyone knows what is required of them daily. It is a joy for me to hear my kids joking around with each other and singing and being silly as they clear off the table, clean the kitchen, load the dishwasher and soforth. Sometimes it sounds like a comedy improv club... my kids are funny!

9:30PM bedtime for younger kids (ages 7-12).
10:30 or 11:00PM bedtime for the teens.

Midnight or 1:00AM bedtime for me and my sweetie.

When the kids were babies, I had to do the teaching of the older ones during the younger ones' naps, which were usually in the afternoon, and only lasted an hour and a half or so. It amazes me they can even read, yet their comprehension is great and even the dreaded standardized test scores are great, too.

We got into the habit of afternoon schooling when my husband was a youth pastor. If the kids were to see daddy at all, they needed to be awake when he got home. I guess the routine just stuck with us.

As for housework, I do about three loads of laundry per day, and my 10yr. old is my folding helper. Because we have a dog, vacuuming of main rooms needs to be done frequently. Of course, our bathrooms need to be cleaned frequently, too. There is always much to be done. Toss in the many phone calls a ministry family receives, as well as drop-in friends and it makes for a busy and full life.

My heart's desire is that I honor God in all ways, but I have found in real life that if I am stressed and judging myself against my other sisters and how they do things, it filters down to my stressfully dealing with my kids. This cannot honor God, or cause my kids to love Him more.

Since this blog post is so long, I will continue next time with my tips on how to be a joyful mother of many.

"BGUTI" Better Get Used To It theory of education

I read with interest today an article written by Alfie Kohn entitled, "Getting Hit on the Head Lessons", which is a reference to a silly Monty Python skit. (I figured that anyone who can appreciate British humor must be able to produce articles that are of interest to me... hehehe). The article is posted on a homeschooling website, and the subject matter has to do with all those things we make our children do, because they will have to get used to it once they are adults. I have always struggled with this illogical premise. Here's what Alfie Kohn wrote:

This leads us to the most important, though rarely articulated, assumption on which BGUTI rests - that, psychologically speaking, the best way to prepare kids for the bad things they're going to encounter later is to do bad things to them now. I'm reminded of the Monty Python sketch that features Getting Hit on the Head lessons. When the student recoils and cries out, the instructor says, “No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go, ‘Waaah!’ Try it again” - and gives him another smack. Presumably this is extremely useful training . . . for getting hit on the head again.

But people don't really get better at coping with unhappiness because they were deliberately made unhappy when they were young. In fact, it is experience with success and unconditional acceptance that helps one to deal constructively with later deprivation. Imposing competition or standardized tests or homework on children just because other people will do the same to them when they're older is about as sensible as saying that, because there are lots of carcinogens in the environment, we should feed kids as many cancer-causing agents as possible while they're small to get them ready.

You can read the entire article here.

"Yes, they're all mine. Yes, we homeschool. No, it's not what you think."

"Uber-blogger" Tim Challies has taken a swat at a huge hornet's nest with his latest blog entries entitled Why I Do Not Homeschool Parts 1 and 2. Although I don't know Tim personally, and actually only know that he is a prolific reformed blogger, it seems to me from the tone of his articles that his kids are quite young. So is he. Of course, anyone under 40, to me, is young. ***LOL***

As I read through the articles and multiple comments, I have been reflecting back on our, let's see now, twelve years of homeschooling. Earlier this week I ran into an old friend at WalMart (yes I do shop there... shhhhhhh). We did the whole small talk thing, then she looked at me and said, "I don't know how you do it. How do you homeschool five kids?" She went on to say that over the past year she had homeschooled her middle and elementary aged-kids out of financial necessity. The kids had been attending a private Christian school prior to this time. This woman has a teaching degree and is wonderful with kids. She's articulate, humorous, and gentle-hearted. Yet, for her, homeschooling was a horrible experience.

As we chatted, I tried to explain to her how having three kids, to me, was just as busy as having five. There was just something about that "magic" number that made me a crazy woman. Adding in babies 4 and 5 really seemed like no big deal. I reassured her that three is a crazy, chaotic, wonderful number of children to have. The fact that I happen to have more children than she does doesn't make me a better or more efficient mom. All it means is that I do more laundry.

I then went on to tell her that if I were trying to replicate traditional school at home, I wouldn't have continued with homeschooling. She gave me a funny look, sighed, and said that she had done just that. She bought large pre-packaged curricula for each child, and nearly went crazy trying to do everything every day. No wonder it was a horrible year for her! The financial situation of the family has gotten much better, and her kids are back in Christian school, where she also teaches Kindergarten three days a week.

She felt like a failure at homeschooling because she tried to take a school curriculum, designed for use in private schools, and apply ALL of it to her homeschooling. It had nothing to do with her ability to teach her kids. She was just using the wrong tool.

That brings me to the assumption part of life. People look at me and assume I am certain things. When they see five kids, they often times make comments in joke-form about my love-life (and if they had more than a couple kids themselves they'd know it's not what they think!). When they find out I am married to a pastor, they make certain assumptions about my nature being that of a doormat, to which my husband laughs hysterically. When they find out that my favorite movies are sci-fi, not chick flicks, then another assumption dies.

I think we all make assumptions about others based on certain caricatures of life. This is especially prevalent in mom land. We tend to look at each other, then look at ourselves to see just how much we don't measure up. I guess the only way around making assumptions about other moms would be to actually talk to them on more than a surface level, which can leave us vulnerable but which can also be very enlightening. Those moms who look to have it all together are probably looking at you and wondering how you do it. In my experience, women tend to be driven by their own expectations of themselves as they compare themselves to each other. I don't see anywhere in Scripture where we're advised to measure ourselves against each other. I do see how we are to look to Jesus and depend on Him. To me, this can all be rather simple. I have taught my kids for years to "Listen and obey!" This has also greatly simplified my own life, as I strive to listen and obey my heavenly Father, even with decisions such as homeschooling. Ideology without conviction of the Lord is weak when the winds of real life blow against it. That's why I might seem to some to be so calm about who I am and what I do. I walk in what I believe to be God's will for my life, and it fills me with great joy. Add to that a bizarre sense of humor, and you can see how some might think I am a bit goofy, and that's fine by me.

Speaking of goofy, one of my daughters has an infectious giggle, and has been joy-filled since early infancy. She literally lives out the phrase "the joy of the Lord is my strength". She is now ten years old, and was recently walking around the house making some kind of silly noise, and causing her older brother to laugh. As she left the room, I looked at my son and said, "Your sister is living out the scripture that says "He who is of a merry heart has a continual feast." As we laughed about it, I was reminded in my spirit of how much the joy of the Lord really ministers to us and those around us. It's my belief that if we're walking in the Spirit, listening and obeying, we are more free in heart to be joyful despite difficult circumstances.

Even if we homeschool (or don't), and even if our laundry room looks like a FEMA-designated disaster zone.

Is the joy of the Lord your strength?

Parenting With The Education Fear Factor

According to Barna Research, the number one outcome we want for our kids is a good education (39%), followed by helping the child to feel loved (24%), and then, in third place, was enabling them to have a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ (22%). I find this to be almost incomprehensible.

What I see in the homeschool world, if I can call it that, is the same intellectual elitism I see in Ivy League schools. We tend to pressure our kids to be nearly perfect. We don't consider a 50th percentile score on a national standardized test to be normal, but failure. If our child isn't at least 2 grade levels ahead in most subjects, we wonder if they will make it in life. If our teenager wants to work, say, in what some would consider to be a blue collar job, we secretly wonder how we have failed as parents. All of this line of thinking causes me to really grieve about how we, as Christian parents, have fallen into the education trap.

What ever happened to the idea of trusting God to lead the kids where He wants them to be? Doing what He, not society or even we, think they should do? Why can we trust Him with salvation but not with our kids' career choices?

But, we argue, we just want them to have a better life than we had. But is "a better life" connected with one's career? College degree? Or is a better life the life abundant promised by Jesus of intangible spiritual nature, regardless of degrees or careers?

I'm not talking here about letting adult kids live at home, be jobless, hopeless. I am talking about what drives us as parents with regard to our kids. While we cannot make them walk in faith in Jesus, why do we not see that goal as primary? Why do we let fear rule how we focus our efforts as parents?

I see this as an epidemic in homeschooling circles, as well as public/Christian circles. I've struggled with it in my own heart for years (this is our 11th yr. of homeschooling...whew!)

The Barna Research info. may be found here:
Take a look for yourself and see some of our inconsistencies as parents. It's a very convicting link! May it cause us all to rethink our goals as parents.